Saturday, July 14, 2007

I rarely write from the heart and maybe there's are reason...

Of all the times i have written from the heart, barring a few remote circumstances, i have found, that even the presumably most pristine peices, have been, ignored or unacknowledged.
And what the odd thing is that at that point of time, the unacknowledgement, doesnt hurt as much of the thought of it at some later time.

I am an emotional writer. I try to stay, media-neutral, as my career, demands of me, but when i write, i write purely what i can, else i shall not write. And perhaps this is a reason, why i ought not to take journalism. I can never write about maybe a rape, or an accident, or a politically sensitive matter, without giving either my opinions or charging the article.

But yet, that is not the crux of the matter.

The crux is that if i write matters from the heart, i tend to get very emotional. And this is the reason, that when the final product, is just dismissed as any other thing.. that it hurts.

I am in a crabby, sentimental strange mood now. I'm hungry, but i dont want to eat. I feel tad lonely. My cousin chews my fucking brain. I smashed my cell fone.

Long day.

50 cold coffees. I dont want to see another cold coffee for a while. And i'm definitely not making it.

Priya came to Faldero( whatever the fuck that is), our stall today.

It was nice to see, and it was a break from the usual faces, that i was seeing throughout the day.

But i'm just flustered now.

I oughta be happy. But am not. Some fuckall reason.

I would love to blog about it, but it's a matter of the heart, and tad sensitive. And forget it..

A little thing to explain my mood

every little thing seems blue
i dont understand
how this world revolves

where one is accepted
and another dissolves

where what seems right
could as well be wrong

where words of wisdom
seem like an age old song


words that cloud my mind
crystal clear nothing is
tears down my cheek
you will not see
but tearing me inside
as if like an abyss
is the emptiness
but all you will see
is a million dollar smile
and the flash of a bulb
that is my life.


i usually never crib
but the time has come

i'm sorry for loving
loving more than i ever could

sorry for feeling
on top of the world

im sorry
for pain that i may have caused through my stupidity

i'm sorry for it all.

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