Wednesday, June 6, 2007

On Why You Shouldnt Talk To Yourself...

You know it's really strange, but i tend to do this a lot. Whenever I'm alone, and probably engaged in some activity of some sort, i talk to myself, as to what it would be like to be with someone who shared the same interest as you in the activity that you are a part of.

The other day I was walking down the aisle..(no not getting married, havent found anyone yet..not french for sure :P)
the aisle at Safeway..and i looked at the bread, then at the cheese, and then at random moisturisers, and then i started first thinking to myself, as to what it would be like to own a chain of stores like Safeway, and coming down to the stores once in a while to inspect things, speak to customers and the like. While all this was going on in my head, it just got out of my mouth, "Why truly it is very nice to meet you as well!" and at this point of time i was facing a bottle of dishwashing liquid. This girl(looked cute) was standing near me and she giggled, and walked away. I looked myself in the mirror and said, "Why!!!"

Well but this is not the only incident, there are so many, like everyday, every hour almost, when I'm walking alone, i speak to myself, but mutter under my breath, and no-one really can make out. But at times..well i just wish i were invisible.

Now the bathroom. I think the bathroom, is this place to think, think about whatever you want to in life. Be it politics, what bush says, what he does, what is right, what should be stopped, what should i do after i crap...things like that. After all it is the most personal, private place right.

Well but in my residence halls, that is so not the case. We have like a common bathroom. Now when i say common bathroom i dont mean just one VC and one shower. There are (claps) 4 shower cubicles and 4 toilet cubicles.
I've sort of decided that cubicle one is my toilet, and cubicle 3 of the showers is my shower!
Well so the other night, i went to wash my face and use the facilities.
I lock the door, and while standing in that tiny space, i just mutter to myself, "You know, i wanna fucking kill each and every person in this dorm. Slowly, stealthily, gruesome deaths."
(Now this might be influenced by the fact, that i have taken horror film, and this is sort of desentitizing me towards violence against humans)
Well so anyhow, i came out of the loo, thought i was alone, and then i hear a flushing noise in the cubicle that was next to the one i was in.
I FREAKED!
i thought whoever was in there must already be planning on calling the cops, and getting me admitted to the MADHOUSE!
i mean truly, i would if i heard someone say something of that sort, in the serial killer voice!

So then i start repeating the lines, and adding more and talking to the mirror. The guy comes out of the loo, chinese dude, and he says, "hey! what you upto?" and i was like..ohh nothing, just practicing for a play of mine, i play a psychopath. It's this famous play in India, titled, "Psych"...he actually bought it!
i was suprised..
i mean psych!! wtf!

So i think..
i'm going to try and control my conversations with myself for a while, because if I do make such comments, oh boy the police are seriously going to want to have a word with me.

So mouth...ziip!!!(shut)..

*SILENCE*

1 comment:

mesmerized said...

Hahahahaha!!! We both share the talk to self problem, but unlike smart me you always get caught. Yes i wish to be invisble,(only when there are no hot guys around ,,,lol)

These horror film lines r freaking me. where is my udit,,, bring the udit i knew who cried if a fly died..!

lol! miss yeah!